In The Moveable Feast Ernest Hemingway said, “All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know.” Well, lately that has been easier said than done on this here blog o’ mine. Higher Ground High School has been a daily source of entertainment and potential blog fodder, but some of the most bizarre things that have been uttered in my office need individual posts and explanations of their own. With that said, I cannot resist but list some of them here for you in complete random and out of context order just the way you (and by you, I mean I) like them.
- His street name is Burnt Toast … because he’s really dark-skinned.
- I didn’t beat his ass for realz; it was a friendly fade.
- He hit his head on the big dude’s fist.
- No, the floor was wet, and I slipped and hit my head on the labatory. (Me: The lavatory?) Yeah, the zink.
- All white people are not Mormons; some of them are devil worshipers.
- You got some ashy ass lips … Where yo chapstick?
- All I said to the teacher was “Damn. We got another 20 minutes of this shit.”
- (On a discipline referral which I later had to read aloud and explain to a parent) H****** referred to the other student as “Douche Bo Baggins.”
- (singing) I like to move it, move it.
- I can’t describe what she is wearing today because it is definitely something you have to see for yourself.
- Gurl, you need to take yo bebe to the doctor; something is wrong with her eyes.
- I drank a forty for breakfast.
- You ain’t no gangsta; I’ll show you gangsta just as soon as yo ass is in my car.
When I look back at these one true sentences, I recall another great Hemingway sentence: “The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear.” Won’t I be a lucky girl someday if this much is true?